Resources On How To Talk To Your Children

 

 

Many of us are struggling to navigate conversations about Israel with our children or grandchildren in age-appropriate ways. While these talks might not feel comfortable, it is important to have them because children undoubtedly will hear about these disturbing events - and as adults, it’s our responsibility to help kids process them in an appropriate manner. 

 

The way that you approach it, and the level of detail you share, will vary with each age group and your child’s maturity level. What should remain the same, regardless of age, are some recommendations from The Child Mind Institute on how to deal with a frightening incident or tragedy: 

  • Break the news
  • Then take cues from your child’s reaction
  • Model calm
  • Offer reassurance
  • Help your child express what he or she is feeling

 

Young children 

At this age, easy-to-understand information should be balanced with reassurance that the child is safe. If they have questions about what is happening, encourage them to come to you and ask. Likewise, explain that it is okay if they don’t want to know more. For older children in this age group or the more tech savvy, explain that information they may find online is not reliable, so encourage them to ask you rather than do a search. Encourage them to share their feelings. 

 

Middle school

As children mature, you’ll want to balance information that is a little more advanced but not overwhelming with reassurances about safety. For this age group in particular, it makes sense to discuss that information they find online may be both disturbing and/or biased. Encourage them to come to you directly with questions and/or go to a trusted news source - and make your own recommendation as to which one - to learn more. Again, reassure those who don’t seem interested in getting additional information that it’s okay not to delve into details. Foster an open sharing of feelings. Older children in this age group - or those active on social media - may need some advice found in the next section.


Teenagers

This age group should have a more mature perspective on events, but remember that they are not yet developmentally adults. You can share more in-depth details and historical perspectives with them, and encourage them to ask questions - or not to - as their interests dictate. Teenagers who are on social media may be exposed to much more graphic images and reports. Set boundaries that feel right for your family about what is or is not appropriate to watch. Give them reliable news sources you trust, and discuss bias or prejudice they encounter. Balance reassurances about their personal safety with information on what the community is doing to keep safe. Be prepared to listen to and have more in-depth conversations on their feelings and tap into external mental health resources as appropriate.

 

Need more details and ideas? More links and resources are available on the PJ Library website, including:
 

 

As well as at https://truvie.org/responding-crisis-israel